Over the weekend I managed to find just the right amount of time to take my scraggly butt to the auto parts store and get Old Cy a bit of new electrical juice in the form of a brand new battery. By the looks of the old battery ( I used the term “battery” only because it kinda look like that same shape of bike battery) left over from the 80’s I’m sure Cy was in dire need of at least something that would help put fresh juice in his tired out old wires. Of course the parts store didn’t have anything CY’s size that was already charged up and ready to go so I opted for the next best thing and bought the battery that required filling it with electrolyte and the following the manufactures charging instructions. No problem, I can follow written instructions, it’s those verbal ones my brain flips out on. Put it in black and white on a piece of paper and I can read it, and reread and then read it again and slowly it begins to sink in. Typical Hillbilly! Reminds me of Uncle Gezer and his new gun. You see he got him a brand new shotgun one year for his birthday. First shotgun he’d ever had. He got so fired up about shooten the thing he grab them instructions, and began reading em out loud. It sounded something like this,
· Place gun barrel in right hand.
· While pushing slightly downwards with the right hand, push the barrel release lever to open loading chambers.
· Load ammunition into both chambers.
· Snap gun barrel and gun stock back together.
· To discharge firearm pull trigger firmly towards the rear of the firearm.
At that point Uncle G, doing just what the instructions said to do, promptly shot off three of his right toes. Seems the instructions didn’t say nothing bout where to place the gun once it was loaded or about aiming the dog gone thing. Poor Unc walked a bit to one side from that day on.
Anyway, based on my genetic background I read them instructions about ten times so’s I get em right. After doing all the filling and charging I slid that new battery in Old Cy and connected up the cables. Took a deep breath, turned on the ignition key and the idiot lights lit up like a brand new Christmas tree. I could have sworn I felt Old Cy shudder like he had just gotten a shot of nitrous or something. So, gently (Like it would have made any difference how I touch that button) I reached over to push the start button, hesitated a second and then pushed. Cy answered back with, “Click, click”, and nothing more. As if I didn’t believe what I had just heard I pushed the start button again. Click, click, same thing like the first button push. Here’s the Hillbilly mentality thing again. Did I really think that pushing the button a second time would have some magical way of changing the outcome to something different than the first time? Yep, I did and no it didn’t change nothing. Now thinking back to my backyard shade tree wrenching days in the late 60’s and 70’ I figured I had to see if the solenoid had quit or was the starter itself gone. Grabbing a screwdriver and flipping the key back on, I dead shorted across that solenoid and the starter kicked in and spun those cylinders like someone had poured hot bacon grease down em. Cy fired a couple of times kinda half hearted but just didn’t seem to have enough fuel getting through his carbs to keep running. Like a dummy I grabbed the close by can of starter fluid, popped a few shots in his empty air cleaner box and put the fire to him again. Cy answered with a little more enthusiasm for a second and then voiced his resentment with a resounding POW out the exhaust! Guess he wasn’t to happy with the starter fluid shoved down his throat. And I’m sure the neighbors weren’t thrilled with the sound of a gun shot at 9:00 pm. I decided we’d had enough explosive fun for the night besides I needed to put a can of Seaform cleaner in the tank and start the Seaform carb soak. It’ll probably be Sunday by the time I get back to Cy and see how he’s doing. So for now he can just lay back and enjoy the Seaform sauna. I hope he cleans up his act soon, maybe a couple of new plugs might get him in the “Lets Ride” mood. What do ya think?
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